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Break-ups. Why do they happen and How to Avoid these Reasons

  • Posted on November 5, 2022
  • News
  • By Akta Yadav

Break-ups. Why do they happen and How to Avoid these Reasons

Breakups are frequently portrayed as the outcome of one significant life event, such as when a person witnesses their partner's infidelity or storms off when their partner admits to lying about an important matter. Sometimes it does proceed in that manner, but many relationships end slowly as two people realize they are not the right fit for one another. Although it may be difficult to let something go without a significant triggering event, experts advise against holding onto something for the sake of holding onto it. In light of this, we spoke with therapists to identify five telltale signs that your relationship is in trouble. Continue reading to learn what to watch out for. 

Five most important reasons for breakups:

1: You talk about your relationship with outsiders    After communicating their problems to their partner but not feeling understood, many people start indulging in other people more. This is a further red flag. Relationships that aren't working out typically feature a dynamic where one person is dissatisfied while the other doesn't see a problem, according to Boone Christianson, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Provo, Utah, and the author of 101 Therapy Talks.

"If one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem, we advise our clients as couple therapists. The couple needs therapy if just one person says so, "explains Christianson. "The partner in denial may occasionally change their mind once the problem sufficiently affects them, but that point is typically accompanied by a threat of divorce."

Author of My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany) and relationship expert Kevin Darné advises readers to focus more on their communication with friends and family than with their significant other. It's a bad sign, he says, if you find yourself confiding in friends, coworkers, or total strangers about how unhappy you are in your relationship rather than to your partner. "In your attempt to win someone over, it also opens the door to developing an emotional relationship," said the author.

2: You are no longer interested in resolving fights

The real issue with constant fighting, according to Laura Silverstein, LCSW, a certified couples therapist and co-owner of Main Line Counseling Partners, is a conflict that never ends. The relationship is in bad shape, she says, if neither partner is making an effort to de-escalate the conflict or makeup after a fight.

According to Silverstein, you should leave an argument if you start to experience visceral symptoms like a racing heartbeat or trouble breathing. "You and your partner might do and say things you regret when you're in a state like this," she explains. "If you don't regroup to apologize later, it will probably result in resentment building."

GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor with Psych Point, adds that when conflict is not properly resolved, it snowballs into you and your partner fighting about the same things repeatedly.

Your relationship will not work, according to Guarino, if you repeatedly argue with your partner or feel as though you are not being heard, understood, or validated. These warning signs point to a serious problem with communication, as well as to both partners' feelings of burnout and a lack of support among them, which impairs their ability to work through problems in their relationship.

3: You have started hiding things from your partner:

     On the other hand, Nancy Landrum, a relationship coach and the founder of The Millionaire Marriage Club, suggests that if there isn't any conflict in your relationship, it may be because you're holding back from your partner out of fear. And that alone might be a sign that things aren't going well in your relationship. It's a problem, according to Landrum, if you're reluctant to bring up a subject that demands discussion. "Anything can be discussed in a healthy relationship with the expectation of a respectful, open response."

You might act out more unfavorable behaviors with your partner as a result of your relationship's lack of openness and honesty. Howard says that if you feel like you've started hiding things from your partner, you should be worried. "Although everyone has a different right to privacy, keeping information from your spouse that they should know is unethical. It shows that you don't have faith in your relationship, "She clarifies.


4: You no longer feel like spending time with each other:

Relationships require effort, and they aren't always simple. But ultimately, you should still relish spending time with your significant other. "A person's journey through life. Relationships should enhance one's life, not replace it "Darné enjoins.

According to Beth Ribarsky, Ph.D., a relationship expert, and professor of interpersonal communication at the University of Illinois Springfield, "you no longer look forward to the time you spend with them" is one of the most obvious signs that you're unhappy in the relationship you're in. She says that as a result, you might experience "stress when you see them calling or texting." Or, you might come up with reasons to avoid your partner.

You are also in charge of making your relationship enjoyable at the same time. Therefore, if you don't want to break up with your partner, you can fix this issue. According to Erica Taylor, LCSW-S, a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice in Texas that offers couples counseling, "It is easy for couples to fall into simply handling the business of the relationship together (bills, kids, household responsibilities, etc.). But if you don't deliberately cultivate the fun in your relationship, it won't last.

5: You start disrespecting each other:

 A relationship to work and respect for each other is what keeps the bond stronger. Once that respect is gone, the relationship will no longer stand. It is bound to break up. Nothing is more painful than disrespecting each other and nothing is more beautiful than respecting each other. So, if you don’t want to part ways with your partner, start respecting. The love for each other will increase more and there will be no chance of breaking up.

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Akta Yadav

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